encoded notions

Ted Stevens’ speech comparing the internet to tubes and trucks ranks somewhere up there with Al Gore talking about how he created the internet. Here’s an excerpt from my chatlogs:

Video explanation

Here is what a friend IMed me after I asked something to the effect of “if the internet really is like Ted Stevens described it, what does bittorrent look like?”

Do your kids like eating paste—that thick, finger-spreadable, semi-opaque, minty-smelling, non-toxic goo? I think I may have stumbled upon a way to wean them off:

1. Purchase some tapioca pearls.
2. Follow the directions on the box for making plain tapioca pudding, but make the following alterations
   • Swap out mint flavoring for the vanilla extract.
   • Add 20% more tapioca pearls to the recipe.
3. Tell your kids that they can eat as much of the stuff as they want (don’t worry about them putting on a few pounds at first—the point is that they will be eating food and not art equipment).
4. …
5. …
6. Profit!

Note: I do not have kids. This has never been tried in a real-life situation with living human post-embryonic offspring. I have never mixed mint with tapioca pudding before. If your children die from some freaky mint-tapioca chemical explosion, it is not my responsibility to clean up your kitchen.